I'm so sick of people asking my parents if I'm okay. Ask me yourself. Damn. I'm sorry I have like one sad status on facebook and everyone thinks I'm going to slit my wrists. Wtf? If you don't like it - don't read it. I tend to bitch a lot. I don't like my life, I basically hate it but I'm grateful for what I do have. It's obviously my fault if I'm not happy. So don't concern yourself by trying to pray for me, consoul me or anything else along those lines. I go to church and people look at me with worried eyes and touch my shoulder with an "How are you Katie?" like I just got dumped or something. I don't need your pity. I'd be fine if you'd remove yourself from up my ass.

  I sound like such a bitch right now but people think I want their attention or pity and I don't. I just need to vent. Take some kickboxing classes etc. I guess I'll just fake a smile and vent on here from now on.

  I'm sick of having shit ass friends. Dey is the only person to stick by me through everything. She's also going to be there for me when my family moves to NC and I don't go. I can be a bitch but not to my friends so I don't know why I have like none. It's so pathetic. I do move a lot. I dont' know. Steve is a best friend too but you know how that can go.

  Bleh bored with writing already.

   I noticed since graduating high school May 2008.. I tend to procrastinate. I took a year off school which I regret and now I've waited too long for this fall semester. I know people a few years older than me just now going to school, which is fine I'm not judging them & nothing is wrong with it. I just thought for the longest time "Wow, I'm lazy" but just recently I've discovered I'm scared shitless. It has nothing to do with being lazy. I just must think I have all the time in the world, which I don't! In a few months it'll be one year with my boyfriend..where does the time go?! I just turned 20 in July and I don't like it. I don't like getting any older or all the responsibilities you receive as you get older. I know it happens and I just need to "suck it up" but that doesn't change that fact that I'm still scared. I'm determined to not put things off anymore. But money does tend to put a damper on things. I need to keep myself motivated. So far I've done it with working out and now I need to for school & working. I called Molly yesterday to see when I can actualy start working because I worked a few days but haven't since and my Mum said I just need to be in her face about it.

  I get the guts to call and she's not there lol. Go figure. I've waited too long to go to school this semester so I'm forcing myself and making sure others push me to go next semester. I hate putting it off. I miss learning and I don't want to be in school forever. I don't even know what I want to major in anymore. I was so hooked on Photo Journalism for the longest time but then I got thinking about it and writing papers isn't my thing...yes I can write and well I might add when I try but the format and everything else they want is what bugs me. I hate grammar. I wish I could just take pictures for a living and make a good living but with the way the econmy is going that's a no no. I will always do it as a side job but never for my main career. Everyone thinks I'm nuts for that because they love my photography but I think it's pretty sensable. There's so much I have to do. Sigh. Growing up isn't fun. Just had to vent.